JAMES BROWN: Welcome to "Today’s NFL" on the Wolf Network. We’ve got an exciting line-up of games for you today.
HOWIE LONG: I want to kick Jimmy Kimmel’s ass. Look at my hair. It’s awesome.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I’ve got a possum in my pants! Hee hee hee!
JOHN MADDEN: Have you ever had a McWhopJack? It’s a Big Mac stuffed in a in a in a in a a a a Whopper stuffed in a Jumbo Jack! I’m tellin’ ya…
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: To – day – is – Sun – day.
JAMES BROWN: Next we have commentary on this afternoon’s games.
CHRIS BERMAN: The Atlanta Kittyhawks defense could GO. ALL. THE. WAY. against the Cleveland UPS Shirts.
JIMMY JOHNSON: I used to coach the Dallas Cowpats.
DEION SANDERS: Look at this hat. It be stylin’, and Prime Time makes it look good!
HOWIE LONG: Rear end tackle LaDanielShwann Washingsmithstein lost his father in a tragic accident last week. Fortunately, he can take comfort in the awesomeness of my hair.
JAMES BROWN: All right, guys. Your thoughts on today’s game?
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: I – am – talk – ing – a – bout – foot – ball - right – now.
JOHN MADDEN: One time we had a a a a had a this time in Detroit we stopped my bus to get somethin’ to a a a eat and we a a a Ever had a Polish doglink? It’s a hot dog stuffed in a hot link stuffed in a a a in a Polish sausage!
JIMMY JOHNSON: We used to have those when I coached the Dallas Cowpats.
DEION SANDERS: I move my hands when I talk. It shows off the tapered sleeves of this outta sight $65,000 mohair trench coat. Yo.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I wrassled a raccoon yesterday! Hoo hoo hoo!
CHRIS BERMAN: I want to GO. ALL. THE. WAY. with the Denver Paintedponies cheerleaders.
JAMES BROWN: Does anyone have anything to say about football?
JIMMY JOHNSON: When I coached the Dallas Cowpats I liked the blue jerseys best.
DEION SANDERS: I just changed outfits. Check this out! Custom tailored arctic neon eel double breasted okapi pinstripe suit. Prime Time shines, baby! Word.
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: Who – ever – scores – the – most – touch – downs – in – to – day’s – game – has – a – good – chance – of – win – ning.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I played tag with hogs this morning! Haa haa haa!
JOHN MADDEN: Look at this guy’s uniform. See this this this this stuff that looks like blood? It’s ketchup. And this muddy stuff on his knees? Barbecue sauce. And and and and a a and a and and this grassy stuff on his shoulder pads? Pesto. Ever had a roast stickpizz? It’s a pizza stuffed in a a a a stuffed in a drumstick stuffed in a pot roast.
CHRIS BERMAN: The salary cap of the San Francisco 86ers could GO. ALL. THE. WAY. against the insurance premiums of the Green Bay Containerstuffers.
JAMES BROWN: Okay, forget football. Does anyone have anything at all intelligent to say?
HOWIE LONG: No. But my awesome hair will kick any team’s ass.
JIMMY JOHNSON: No. Dallas Cowpats.
JOHN MADDEN: Ever had a had a Ever had a humpback threshersword? It’s a swordfish stuffed in a shark stuffed in a whale!
CHRIS BERMAN: *fart*
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: N – n – n – n – o – o – o – o.
TERRY BRADSHAW: Let’s go cow tipping! Haa hee hoo!
DEION SANDERS: You can see my smile from the moon. True.
JAMES BROWN: You guys suck. I quit.
HOWIE LONG: I want to kick Jimmy Kimmel’s ass. Look at my hair. It’s awesome.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I’ve got a possum in my pants! Hee hee hee!
JOHN MADDEN: Have you ever had a McWhopJack? It’s a Big Mac stuffed in a in a in a in a a a a Whopper stuffed in a Jumbo Jack! I’m tellin’ ya…
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: To – day – is – Sun – day.
JAMES BROWN: Next we have commentary on this afternoon’s games.
CHRIS BERMAN: The Atlanta Kittyhawks defense could GO. ALL. THE. WAY. against the Cleveland UPS Shirts.
JIMMY JOHNSON: I used to coach the Dallas Cowpats.
DEION SANDERS: Look at this hat. It be stylin’, and Prime Time makes it look good!
HOWIE LONG: Rear end tackle LaDanielShwann Washingsmithstein lost his father in a tragic accident last week. Fortunately, he can take comfort in the awesomeness of my hair.
JAMES BROWN: All right, guys. Your thoughts on today’s game?
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: I – am – talk – ing – a – bout – foot – ball - right – now.
JOHN MADDEN: One time we had a a a a had a this time in Detroit we stopped my bus to get somethin’ to a a a eat and we a a a Ever had a Polish doglink? It’s a hot dog stuffed in a hot link stuffed in a a a in a Polish sausage!
JIMMY JOHNSON: We used to have those when I coached the Dallas Cowpats.
DEION SANDERS: I move my hands when I talk. It shows off the tapered sleeves of this outta sight $65,000 mohair trench coat. Yo.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I wrassled a raccoon yesterday! Hoo hoo hoo!
CHRIS BERMAN: I want to GO. ALL. THE. WAY. with the Denver Paintedponies cheerleaders.
JAMES BROWN: Does anyone have anything to say about football?
JIMMY JOHNSON: When I coached the Dallas Cowpats I liked the blue jerseys best.
DEION SANDERS: I just changed outfits. Check this out! Custom tailored arctic neon eel double breasted okapi pinstripe suit. Prime Time shines, baby! Word.
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: Who – ever – scores – the – most – touch – downs – in – to – day’s – game – has – a – good – chance – of – win – ning.
TERRY BRADSHAW: I played tag with hogs this morning! Haa haa haa!
JOHN MADDEN: Look at this guy’s uniform. See this this this this stuff that looks like blood? It’s ketchup. And this muddy stuff on his knees? Barbecue sauce. And and and and a a and a and and this grassy stuff on his shoulder pads? Pesto. Ever had a roast stickpizz? It’s a pizza stuffed in a a a a stuffed in a drumstick stuffed in a pot roast.
CHRIS BERMAN: The salary cap of the San Francisco 86ers could GO. ALL. THE. WAY. against the insurance premiums of the Green Bay Containerstuffers.
JAMES BROWN: Okay, forget football. Does anyone have anything at all intelligent to say?
HOWIE LONG: No. But my awesome hair will kick any team’s ass.
JIMMY JOHNSON: No. Dallas Cowpats.
JOHN MADDEN: Ever had a had a Ever had a humpback threshersword? It’s a swordfish stuffed in a shark stuffed in a whale!
CHRIS BERMAN: *fart*
CHRIS COLLINSWORTH: N – n – n – n – o – o – o – o.
TERRY BRADSHAW: Let’s go cow tipping! Haa hee hoo!
DEION SANDERS: You can see my smile from the moon. True.
JAMES BROWN: You guys suck. I quit.
5 comments:
See? This is the only reason I watch football.
For the brilliant commentary.
Oh, and to look at Howie Long's AWESOME HAIR.
Otherwise, it's just 22 men in tight pants...RUNNING.
I hate Deon (Dion? Deyone? DeOn?) Sanders' suit with a white hot passion.
what's not to like about 22 men in tight pants....running? Please, girl!
KF - every daggone time John Madden "talked" in this thing I laughed out loud.
Hahahahaha!! Awesome.
I still remember the time these commentators were talking about some special trainng shoes with wide discs on the bottom and Madden pipes up with "Those things look like cheeseburgers!".
I love the Madden. He's a parody of himself most days. Good stuff!
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