Friday, August 25

Under A Puzzled Sky

Another writing contest, this time 250 words or less. This is much harder than it sounds, as careful placement of few words, and ruthless editing, is required. I leave it to you to decide if I was successful.

This is a work of fiction. Copyright © 2006 Rumba Creative. All Rights Reserved.
No portion of this work may be copied, retransmitted, reposted, duplicated,
or otherwise used without the express written approval of the author.



Under a Puzzled Sky

He really thought she would be the one, this time.

It was a mackerel sky, his late father would have called it. The clouds smeared and shifted moonlight into confusing shadows. He stared up from a stand of yellow pines, turning his thoughts over and over again without the distractions of the daylight world. There was a scent of approaching autumn on the wind, overlaid with the warm, decaying smell of forest duff. It was times like this when his mind asked the most questions.

He never could figure out what marked him as strange. As a child he had made no friends. It was no different now. Everyone in town knew him, but no one invited him anywhere. He worked alone, walked alone, fished alone, lived painfully alone. Women chanced upon him from time to infrequent time, but it always ended the same. It’s not you, they would say, It’s me. Which meant it really was him. Weird peculiar oddball him.

Why did everything always feel so wrong? Was there nothing but frustration and struggle? Did the world not understand him, or did he not understand the world? The world didn’t answer. There was only the melancholy thrum of frogs, the lamentations of crickets to a dying summer.

He really thought she would be the one, this time.

This time, at least, he had found a partial solution. Turning back to his work, he dumped her body in the pit and covered his questions with dirt.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW! I didn't see that one coming! Excellent!! :)

This Girl I Used to Know said...

oh, lovely!

rennratt said...

I think I used to date that guy.

tiff said...

Holy mother of Pearl! Wow!

You'd better be telling me you've got a novel in progress. You're too good to waste on webcontests like this....

Wordnerd said...

This is incredible. I'm going back to read it again! Great job.

Bebti said...

For once you caught me...did not see that one coming at all. Very, uh, is "funny" the right word?

Shari said...

It's not you, it's the piano wire you're strangling me with.

briliantdonkey said...

Hey Kingfisher,

This is my first time visiting your blog. I just wanted to stop by and say I really enjoyed your entry in the Lonely moon contest. I will be back to read more but have to finish reading all the other entries and get my votes in. Anyways, very nicely done. Even more than the story I liked your comments about 'praise is easy criticism is hard'. I get the impression you(like me) get leary if all you see is good comments.Anyways, nice job with the story.

BD