Tuesday, December 18

9 Little Known Christmas Facts

Every kid knows all the items in his stocking came from the $.99 Store, and doesn't want any of it.

No one really knows what Kwanza Kwaanzaa Quonza Kiwanis that stupid made-up holiday is.

By the age of three months, the average American child has seen "A Christmas Story" 47 times.

You will never find the perfect Christmas card, but at least you won't be torturing loved ones with the generic "what we did this year" letter from the family dog.

If you count all the crazed idiot shoppers at the mall, you're one of them.

New Christmas carols suck.

The word marzipan Comes from the German martz, meaning "sweet," and the Danish zippan, meaning "horse turd."

One pound of fruitcake weighs three pounds.

As soon as you pay your Christmas bills, it's Christmas again.

6 comments:

rennratt said...

Please add "The Wizard of Oz" is not a holiday movie.

It's just friggin' creepy.

tiff said...

Dude - I must link to this. MUST, and will. Most excellent.

Wordnerd said...

Amen. Especially the 99 cent thingie. My kids know. Now, instead of spending $30 for thirty items, I spend $30 for three. And they are much happier.

kenju said...

Tiff sent me! You're mostly right, except I do know a little about
Kwanzaa. I know a whole lot about that last one. Darn true!

Biff Spiffy said...

Got a hearty snort outta me. Almost all true, especially the mall one. However, I didn't see Christmas Story until well after high school, and all the oft-mangled lines began to find their context.

Now I can shout out "Fragile! Must be from Italy!" with the best of 'em.

Oh, and here via Tiff.

Shari said...

The three pound one-pound fruitcake is so true....

Merry Christmas Kingfisher.