Saturday, June 23

9 Reincarnated

It used to be called The Nine. Yahoo and others stole my idea, but they got law talkin' guys, I don't.

I like the number 9. Why?

- 10 is so 1990's Letterman.
- 3 is a lucky number. 3 x 3 = 9. Triple lucky.
- 9 is the first odd non-prime.
- I grew up in a family of 6. 6 upside down is 9.
- 9 / 3 = 3. I am first born. 3 + 1 = 4. 4 petals on the California poppy. The California poppy is orange. Orange is my favorite color.
- Three nines downside up is 666, the sign of my Master.
- There are 5 people in my household. I am the oldest of 4 brothers. 5 + 4 = 9.
- Okay, it's all bullshit. I like 9. No reason. Bite me.

Therefore, I present the reincarnation of my favorite number.



9 Bad Things About Me

9. I am not sure that protecting the mentally, physically, or socially impaired is in the best interest of our species.

8. I wish there was a monthly mandatory All Women Go Topless day.

7. Driver's license. Business license. Medical license. Where is the Parenting license?

6. I judge people by a combination of their courtesy, affability, ethnicity, and command of the English language.

5. I'd rather talk my way out of a fight. But push me too far, and I am capable of teaching you the meaning of "seeing red." I have no reservations about wounding, maiming, or killing, including myself, when my rage is unduly provoked.

4. I say I don't care, but I really do.

3. I have had the hots for female cartoon characters. See: Jessica Rabbit and the e-surance chick.

2. I can hold a grudge for a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

1. If a weapon existed that would erase humans, and any trace of their existence, without harming anything else, I would use it. Without thought. Without hesitation.


Obligatory tags: my Favorite Fishing Holes at the left.
You may not change the subject, for 9 is sacred. Or profane. I'm not sure which.

6 comments:

Cravey said...

Um, I don't care so much for the esurance chick her hair bothers me), but Jessica Rabbitt is HOT.
Also, #2, uh, me too.

JC

tiff said...

Unreal. I nod in agreement with all but #8. It hurts my liberal heart to agree with #9, but there ya go.

#4 is my life's theme.

rennratt said...

We are truly kin with regard to #5.

Number 8? Never. Gonna. Happen.

Shari said...

I do weird calculations with random numbers to make them mean more to me, too! It's pretty weird to see my thought process in print.

I would be fine with the topless day. If it were warm outside. And skinny-dipping. That would be good too.

Kingfisher said...

It's 100+ down here, is that warm enough? You can go skinny-dipping off the Pupfish...
;)

rennratt said...

I am planning to complete this 'assignment'.

It should be finished by next week.

Oh, look! My word verification is SMENITA again!